Just catching up here. Haven’t posted since July. As I drink my second cup of coffee this morning, I look outside and there is frost on the deck, the BBQ grill and the lawn. We’ve already had a dusting of snow and that’s gone now but next weeks is Thanksgiving and then it’s a short four weeks till Christmas.
My family is scattered this year so I won’t be hosting Thanksgiving Dinner. Instead four of us will be going to a restaurant and most likely it will end up being three of us (my father, who suffers from dementia has a habit of cancelling at the last minute).
Living back home and caring for my father hasn’t been everything I thought it would be. My father puts up obstacles to anyone helping him. He fights to stay in control but is losing the battle with memory loss and rationality and this makes him fight harder. I wish that he would recognize that he can accept help and still keep his dignity and most of his independence. Being a former police officer, marine and athlete, he is very much a “macho man” even at 85. It would make all of our lives much easier--if he would accept some help and social services and stop pretending that he is as capable as he was. We are trying to make it possible for him to stay in his home environment as long as possible but neither my sister nor I can be there 24/7. The state is suspending his license in mid-December because of three minor accidents where he was at fault. He refuses to give it up voluntarily, insisting that he is a “good driver”. We have tried rationalizing with him about his decreased reaction time and the amount of traffic where he lives to no avail.
I have found it’s hard to reconnect or make new friends in a new place at this “age”. Everyone is pre-occupied with their own lives, family, work, etc. It seems like people no longer make conversation. They are self-absorbed by their phones, email, text messages and e-readers.
I dressed up for Halloween and handed out the candy at my father’s house. My dad did not participate. It was nice meeting his neighbors & their children and grandchildren. I heard so many “nice” stories of favors and kindnesses that my mother and father did for many of them. My mother especially was much loved and remembered.
I decorated my house for Halloween and Ernie put on a seasonal bow tie!
I’m going to my daughter’s next weekend so I can bring Calvin’s advent calendar that I made from a panel last winter. We won’t see each other for Thanksgiving because there is a family wedding on her father’s side that weekend. I’ve finished purchasing all the “advent gifts” to go in the pockets. Because I didn’t want to candy in all of the pockets, it ended up being quite expensive, even at the dollar store. Some of the gifts were too large and will be wrapped up. I’ll put a card in that days pocket with a corresponding number on the gift.
In hindsight, I wish I’d made an advent calendar that had ornaments to hang on buttons for each day. Oh well, lesson learned. I do think it’s a good tool for learning to count though.
Well that’s it for this post. Thanks for stopping by.